sesame tofu

during that (first) summer of poverty katie z. came to visit and graciously took me out to lunch. sesame tofu and miso soup at the only pan-asian restaurant in northampton i was familiar with at the time. we used to go there back in the day and ordering my "usual" brought me comfort. going out to lunch was sort of a reintroduction to society after selling books to finance unsuccessful payphone calls to a certain cellphone in manhattan that never picked up. desperate voicemail messages left as nocturnal insects infested the streetlight outside the bus station. my future boss had to leave a message on my roommate's phone informing me that i was hired. things didn't turn around until, during my week of homelessness, i met my new bestfriends on a back porch of a third floor apartment downtown.

today i went out to lunch, alone, at said pan-asian restaurant. for old time's sake i ordered my usual and reflected on these peculiar three years, where i've been how i got here, how i returned over and over again. i used to say, "i'm here...for now." but now, this is where i live. and it's good.