"we regret to inform you"

that's right. yesterday, the mail i had been waiting for this whole time i've been back in madison arrived. the envelope was light and after i reached that second sentence i yelped, "fuck!" and kim knew exactly what that meant as she read the newspaper at the kitchen table next to me.

so now what?

i'm more determined to dive into this project now because nothing is holding me back. i just need to overcome my crippling financial situation. i need to sell myself, somehow.

any ideas?

*

"Living is no laughing matter:
you must live with great seriousness like a squirrel, for example--
I mean without looking for something beyond and above living,
I mean living must be your whole occupation.
Living is no laughing matter: you must take it seriously,
so much so and to such a degree
that, for example, your hands tied behind your back,
your back to the wall,
or else in a laboratory in your white coat and safety glasses,
you can die for people--
even for people whose faces you've never seen,
even though you know living is the most real,
the most beautiful thing.
I mean, you must take living so seriously
that even at seventy, for example, you'll plant olive trees--
and not for your children, either,
but because although you fear death you don't believe it,
because living, I mean, weighs heavier."

-Nazim Hikmet